If we want to create a society
that values equality, it’s imperative that we teach feminist values to children
from an early age. Although I have no interest in going into education, I
volunteered at the kids’ group at my shul (synagogue) every week on Shabbat
(Sabbath) throughout middle and high school. Once I started becoming
knowledgeable about feminism in the summer before ninth grade, I began to
examine the group’s feminist values and instill them where I felt they were lacking.
Created and run by the rebbetzin
(rabbi’s wife) for over thirty years, the group gives kids aged six and under
an introduction to Shabbat and Jewish songs as well as tefillot (prayers).
My shul is Orthodox, but few congregants are observant, so this service
serves the dual purpose of educating children as well as their parents.
Although people at my synagogue tend to be more liberal, the rebbetzin is very traditionally
minded, to the point that she once told me point-blank that a woman’s place is
in the home. Despite this rather conservative mindset, I believe that she developed a relatively
feminist-friendly kids’ Shabbat program.
The only part of the group that
really bothers me is when we sing the song “Hashem is Here.” The song teaches
children that God is everywhere, enumerating all the different directions where
God is and then stating “that’s where He can be found.” When the rebbetzin
isn’t there and I have to lead the group, I usually substitute “Hashem” for the
“He,” since using gendered terms for God deeply troubles me. When the rebbetzin
is around and I have to sing “He,” I feel bad that I’m reinforcing God as male
in these impressionable children’s minds.
To my mind, his us really the
only issue. The rebbetzin always encourages all of the kids, regardless of
gender, to lead the group in singing songs and saying brakhot (blessings). She herself models the viability of women’s
leadership, and encourages the group’s helpers (who are usually women) to do so
as well.
I know that some feminist-minded young
people who work at kids’ Shabbat groups feel frustrated that they have to teach
children different brakhot for boys and girls. In my shul’s
group, the rebbetzin glosses over the problem pretty well. When I attended the
group as a child, I always thought her methodology was fair: the boys got to
say a brakha over their tzitzit (ritual fringes), and then the
girls got to say a brakha that was billed as thanking God for making
them female. The rebbetzin frames these brakhot as equal, making both
boys and girls feel pride in their special brakha. I believe this is the
most feminist way possible to include sex-specific brakhot and thereby
adhere to normative Orthodox liturgy.
Yes, I am aware that this
arrangement is still very flawed. I know that a brakha determined by sex
is insensitive towards transpeople, the brakha that the girls say can
still be construed as offensive to women, and that many would be horrified that
only boys are encouraged to wear tzitzit*. One could say that it would be easier to just skip over these
brakhot entirely, particularly
because many other prayers are left unsaid in this abridged, child-centered service.
I don’t necessarily disagree; however, these brakhot are part of
traditional morning prayers, and the rebbetzin wants the children to learn them.
If they have to be included at all, I believe that my rebbetzin unwittingly
integrated them in the most feminist-friendly way possible.
I’ve previously written about theinfamous pink Torah, and how gendered the desire to hold the sole pink
Torah is. When I was volunteering at the group, it was nearly impossible to
navigate the politics of which girl could get the pink Torah when. However,
while I was home this summer and helping out at the group, I noticed that there
was less interest in the pink Torah. I don’t really have a hypothesis for why
it’s gone down in popularity; perhaps this crop of girls is just less invested
in the color pink, or maybe the rebbetzin put her foot down one Shabbat when I
was away. Can I dare to hope that the media is not inundating girls with an
obsession with pink anymore? Whatever the case, I’m happy that there are no longer
tears being shed over something as inane as a pink Torah.
Pink Torahs and gendered language
aside, I really do think that the children’s program at my shul gives kids a relatively feminist introduction to Jewish
prayers. Education, especially in the early years, is so vital. If we want to
raise a generation of feminists, we need to educate them as such, starting
right now.
*A few years ago, there was a
girl who wanted to wear tzitzit.
Interestingly, it was the very Modern mother who wouldn’t allow for it, and the
rebbetzin who didn’t particularly care. The mother told me that the way she got
her daughter to stop was by saying that nail polish is for girls and tzitzit is for boys, so she could only
have one or the other. The girl chose the nail polish and that was the end of
the matter.
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