Monday, January 9, 2012

Feminist Dear Blank Please Blanks!

As I've mentioned before, I'm a great procrastinator, and a particular fan of the website I thought I'd share a few feminist-themed and Jewish-themed DBPBs I've seen on the site.

Good DBPBs:

Dear women,
Please tell me why you stay with him when you know he treats you horribly?
Sincerely, he's not worth it.

Dear guys,
Despite what you think, girls like food just as much as you.
Sincerely, stop staring while I nom my cheeseburger.

Dear people at my school,
Just because I cut my hair does not mean I'm suddenly a lesbian.
Sincerely, straight girl who didn't need the hair as much as Locks of Love did.

Dear boys of the world,
Please realize us girls are not all easy, mindless, cheating sluts... just like you're not all douche bags.
Sincerely, let's be fair?

Dear judgmental people,
Teenage girls who are pregnant didn't get that way all by themselves.
Sincerely, talk to your sons about safe sex!

Dear Mulan,
Thank you for teaching us that not all women have to be saved by a prince.
Sincerely, doesn't need a guy to be independent.

Dear society,
How have you managed to make girls feel bad for being virgins AND losing their virginity?
Sincerely, what do you want from us?!?

Dear men,
It's not PMS... You're just jerk.
Sincerely, ladies.

Dear world,
Please realise that standing up for gay rights does not automatically make me gay.
Sincerely, straight girl who wants the world to be more accepting.

Dear ignorant people,
Men who support feminism are not gay, just like people who support animal rights are not animals.
Sincerely, pro-feminist men.

Dear Snow White,
You took an apple from a stranger that made you fall asleep, woke up to a man on top of you and kissing you, then proceeded to call him Prince Charming?
Sincerely, I don't call that charming. I call that rape.

Dear Disney,
You have a white, black, asian, native-american, arab, and even a ginger princess. How bout a Jew?
Sincerely, feeling left out.

Dear society,
What have you done to make my girlfriend think she isn't beautiful?
Sincerely, concerned boyfriend to an anorexic girl.

Dear anorexic little sister,
Every time I hear you step on the scale to weigh yourself, I die a little more inside.
Sincerely, I love you, please eat something.

Dear Shoppers,
Our sizes include: Small, X-Small, anorexic, Bulimic, and Malnourished.
Sincerely, Abercrombie

Dear construction workers,
Don't get mad when my gay guy friend whistles at you.
Sincerely, now you know how violated and awkward the girls of the world feel.

Dear boys who whistle at girls,
What? Do you think we're going to sprint over to you, lick your face and let you pet us?
Sincerely, we're not dogs...

Dear men,
Woman are not birds. whistling at us won't increase your chances of us mating with you.
Sincerely, women everywhere.

Dear construction workers,
Do you realy think shouting and whistling and leering actually works?! Has it ever?!
Sincerely, A fed up female

Bad DBPBs:

Dear feminists,
If you want to see men making sandwiches, go to Subway.
Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear bra burning feminists,
Wearing a bra doesn't mean I'm conforming to society's standards. I do it because I don't want my DD's touching the floor by the time I turn 40.
Sincerely, gravity is a b-word.

Dear extreme feminists,
Chilling at home all day, spending time with your kids, people opening doors for you...
Sincerely, it really doesn't sound that bad to me.

Dear feminists,
Please stop ruining masculinity. The rest of us actually like men.
Sincerely, old fashioned women.

Dear feminists,
Chivalry is dead... because you killed it.
Sincerely, a woman

Dear feminist professor,
Please wear a bra.
Sincerely, horrified student in the front row

Dear female friends,
You making fun of the size of my chest doesn't hurt my feelings. I'm actually happy with my small breasts. They don't weigh me down when I run, I can wear that swimmer's speedo without a sports bra, I'm less likely to get raped, and people actually look at my face when they talk to me.
Sincerely, happy with who I am.

Dear Jersey Shore Cast,
It's called 'Sun Kissed' not 'Dorito raped.'
Sincerely, easy on the tanner.

Dear prostitutes,
If I have sex with you and don't pay, is that rape or shoplifting?
Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear college,
You're all about promoting safe sex and being against domestic abuse, yet you rape my wallet.
Sincerely, a very broke college student

Dear Sallie Mae,
Please stop trying to rape me via student loans. I already have a girlfriend, and she is demanding enough!
Sincerely, UCF graduate

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