On a typical Shabbat at my campus Hillel,
although people from every religious denomination pray separately, everybody
eats the Friday night meal together. Every year, the Orthodox Student Minyan
(OSM) holds an annual Friday night dinner, held in a different venue, for
Orthodox undergrads. The vast majority of OSM members had no qualms about
attending the dinner a few weeks ago. However, some Orthodox kids expressed
their dislike of the concept, calling it exclusionary and claiming that it
alienates Orthodox kids from the rest of the Hillel community.
These complaints reminded me of a
previous conversation I had in regard to so-called “exclusionary” spaces after
my college’s activities fair in September. “Why was there a whole section of
the fair dedicated to clubs about gender and sexuality?” one person asked. “Why
is a women’s-only club okay, but not a men’s-only club?” I tried to explain that
there is legitimacy to a men’s-only club in certain contexts, but in general, women’s-only
groups are necessary because the world is still dominated by men. Consequently,
women sometimes need spaces where they can control and shape their experience
without being subjected to patriarchal interference and the male gaze.
So too, I tried to explain to the anti-OSM
dinner camp that sometimes, Orthodox kids just need a chance to share a meal with
a group of people like themselves, who come from similar backgrounds and
understand halakhic observance. Perhaps my desire for such a space stems from my
more homogeneous background, but I really don’t think it’s personal. Every
human being wants and needs to be with others like them for at least some of
the time. It’s not like the planners of the OSM dinner are actively trying to
exclude non-Orthodox students; on the contrary, they are just trying to foster
a space for Orthodox students to thrive.
I don’t advocate that Friday night
dinners should always be segregated by denomination. That would be extremely
detrimental to ahdut (togetherness)
and undermine the purpose of Hillel in the first place. However, I have no
problem with an annual or even biannual OSM dinner. In fact, I would make the
argument that it’s beneficial for the Orthodox community and Hillel at large to
have small breakaway meals once a semester, because it fosters a better sense
of intra-denominational ahdut.
I make this claim in the light of the
fact that the OSM dinner ended before regular Hillel dinner even began, and
that several of us went from the OSM dinner to Hillel dinner, thereby having
the best of both worlds. To me, it is about having it all: being able to chill
in a space where everybody understands why I only wear skirts, and then
chilling in a space where it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing.
So I support and will always attend the
OSM dinner, as well as other “exclusionary” spaces.
You cannot force integration. Sometimes people in a particular group just want to be with members of that group. Refusing it, forcing integration, doesn't create tolerance but builds resentment.
ReplyDeleteThen there's the passive exclusion. If the Hillel had a program like a mixed dance or a fun day out during the Three Weeks then they'd be excluding the Orthodox kids. How often do they think about that?